''American Dream''

29. January 2012

Everything started with a simple idea of a freedom. Be free, feel free. But instead i have fallen into a trap of love. I was wondering how can one little woman change your life forever. It stuck in my head, heart, soul and then I realised that I am really so much in love, that I become blind person. All those dreams became something else, something more. They became real. So there I was, happy guy with a feeling of freedom and I was in love. I can't describe all those feelings, I felt back there, but i will tell you, i was happiest man in the world. Nothing could bring me down. So as time has passed, and with my situation of waiting for the real life in London, something has changed. I have commit to this real dream with all my passion and love, and i didnt see, that something was going on. Even i felt it, 5000km far away. But still, i convinced myself, that everything is all right. So with lots of emotions and wasted time for waiting, i have finnaly arrived to be with the one, i chose for my whole life. Instead, i found something else. Somthing which i didnt see, or maybe didnt want to see. Heart was broken, but soul is still living. Even tough what happened, it just didnt get to me that much, because i love this person no matter what. And here we can ask question, what is love? Is it that all are pretending to love someone, to be with a person because they have all those things you can see? Or you just dig deep inside, deep in to the core of the person and even you will find all those bad things, and you just accept it as it comes? Everyone is asking, where can I find a real love? I think that love will find you. But if you have it, never let it go. Because then, if you lose it, no one knows, for how long you will be lost. So that brings me to my situation. I have found a love of my life. But its not that easy, like I pictured it. Worst part of all of this is, that if you love someone so much, you are willing to accept even that killing feeling of let her/him go for the sake of her/his happiness. So now, I have no idea what will happen. As lots of people are saying, God knows. So yeah, dices has been thrown, and yet again I will leave for the forced feeling of freedom. Even tough it was one of the dreams I had, but with age, everything is changing. So now I think, that this escape is a great chance for everyone to learn from it. So tomorrow morning I will be on my way towards south from Quebec. With acceptance of the life I am going forward to reach another dream. So basic plan is this – Going south from Victoriaville, QC towards Boston, MA. Stay there for couple of days and then move to New York, NY. So basic moments I will spend there trough couchsurfing. All will be like its suppose to be, I just wish that hitching will be easy and I will not stuck somewhere in the middle of nowhere. My main goal is to get to the Grand Canyon and return to Montreal, QC by 23. of March. But still there are some aspects, which they can change my plan. Lets face it, if I will be chosen for the life with a person I love, this trip will be ending soon. If not, I will do it no matter what, anyway I will still leave as winner. Loosing a person, I love the most will give me another dream to fulfil. Finally I will see, what is this fuss about America. Or I will be accepted by her love and I will return to her, fulfil another dream. I have nothing to lose. Last evening full of emotions, new friendships. In here, Victoriaville, I have met a gorgeous young family, young mother Katherine, full of joy for life and completely devoted to her daughter Shelly of 6, little blond girl, so smart that I am wondering, what will happen when she will grow up. Luc, Shelly's stepfather, who is taking care of both of them with a great heart he has. We had very nice diner and evening is just starting. With nice family atmosphere and couple of beers we will have some laugh. I am just wondering, how will I feel in the morning. It going to be hard, to say goodbye to the little Shelly, but even harder say it to Jolyane. But still, I will be on my way to know, to meet, to live a lot more. I can't wait for that.

29. January 2012

I really don't know what to do. I am stuck in this position, if its worth it to stay or go. My mind is full off thoughts, good ones, bad ones, but neither one of them is helping me to decide. If I will summarise all of it in to one, this is what it looks like:

I have fall in love with a girl, who I met on my travelling trough Europe. By our ''touch of destiny'' meeting I decided to be with her no matter what life it will be. I really got to know real her. This unbelievable lively, independent, gorgeous Jolyane, Canadian girl who was on same way as me, to look for her self. We have continued with our love for next couple of months, she visited me in London for couple of days and we were living the dream. But with her actions and her behaviour, she managed to mess with head and heart of another person. Worst part was, that she didn't realise, that after some actions there will be some reactions. So at the moment we have two great guys madly love with this messed up girl and both of us want to have her by our sides. Now I am scared that I will lose her completely, even I don't care about time I have spend alone back in England. I have sacrificed 5 months of waiting for dream to come true, now I ended up with a broken heart, confused what will happen next and sad, disappointed, that how can one person think, that love is a easy. I am asking myself, how it all will be, how lifes will change again. I must say, I had interesting week, full of lies, love, hate, new friendships, but still it hurt me so badly, that I have lost all my lateral thinking. I have no idea what to do. She is telling me that she don't want me to go, that I am the right for her, but at same time she is in contact with this other guy. She thinks, that if she will go back to Quebec, that she will have this time to think, but he is her class mate. He will be there, while I will be waiting here, in Victoriaville or I will go travelling down south, to see those big cities, countries, lives. Even she does know, what she wants, she is just scared to make the decision. I must say, I am pretty much fed up with waiting. It is just so simple. So yeah, I am stuck in here with all those thoughts, thinking what will happen. I love her so much, I have never loved like this before in my life, but now I am questioning myself, if its worth it to pretend that everything will be OK. I am willing to do anything for her, even leave her with this other guy. Main thing is, that I want her to be happy, no matter what. Love is blind, but some people has never felt it properly, they haven't been loved from the bottom of the other person heart. I am still surprised, if you are sure for what you want, why not to take it before it will go away? Probably I will never understand that. So now, yet again, its all about waiting. God, I hate that. To be in some other country, alone, broken hearted and still look in her eyes and keep saying it to myself, that she can be mine. I just wish, I could read minds. All would be much easier. I think, I sacrificed a lot in this ''relationship'', I was hurt the most. So why am I still here? If she knows, what she need, why not tell it out loud? I can't wait no more. I love unknown, but this one is not helping, not moving, just craving deeper scars in my heart. Will she be with me or won't be? Will I have this dream to have someone by my side for my life no matter what, or will I be alone again searching for happiness? I am fed up to look at all those happy couple around me, without any stagnation of talking. I want to be one of them. With her. If she loves me, she would understand, that if I will go for this trip, it would be helpful for me as well, not to think about all of that. If she will write to me, that she needs me, that she want to be with me, no matter where I will be I would go straight to be next her. She thinks, that if I will go away, it means that I don't want her. But how can I stay and wait for the worst? I need to clean my head as well. Its just too much on my brain, this last week. How it is going to be? Do I really want this? Does she? 


30. January 2012

Morning was very weird. I woke up next to the woman i love and couple of minutes later i had to say goodbye to her. Didn't feel good. I felt so alone. But then  I realised that I am on the road again. With thoughts about her I went forward, out of Victoriaville. Weather was nice, sunny but cold wind was blowing from every side. I must say, that I wish to remember all the names of drivers who picked me up, but I just forget. All the time. Anyway, straight after Victoriaville an old man stopped me.

As my french is not that good, we did find a way to have some laugh together. Sun was up in the sky, snow around was glittering in its shine. So we found some words to express our selfs that we love to live. Even tough there was an age gap, we knew what life is all about. He drove me around 15km then he turned away and I stayed on the road again, alone. But not too long after that, I got picked up by this guy

is working with a butcher shops around the Quebec, mostly he is into marketing for the big shops. We found a way to talk, his english was good. So we exchange our opinions about the lifestyle between Canada and Europe. We have found a differences and coherences within both worlds. He pointed out kind of a funny thing. Did you know, that Melbourne is in Quebec? That there is Windsor as well? Lot names of a world cities are lying next to each other here in Quebec. So yeah, today I was passing trough all world within couple of hours. He went to Sherbrook to meet his girlfriend so I was thinking about mine. He putted me out near city he went to and yet again it was only me and road. I went Subway, they had good deal on a meal, so I wasn't hesitating and I enjoyed a gorgeous hot soup. After a little brake I was continuing hitching. After 15 minutes walking, a blue Ford Fiesta was reversing on a highway. It was young man with a great smile.

Yet again I found out, that I need to learn french. We tried to speak and of course what was the main topic? Women. So I had to explain with my broken french language that Slovakian girls are much more nicer. But still, I think that beautiful women are everywhere. After couple of kilometers and lots of explanations which ones are the best I was again on foot. Around one kilometer walking of walking a huge pick-up pulled over. In there there was a huge man as well.

With him it wasn't too much talking because he just gave me ride for 5km, then I got picked up by Michele

65 years old guy, with a mission of making gallery in Magog, small town near borders. He was rushing for a city council meeting, third one, the most important one he was waiting for two years. So for him this evening was a life changing as well. We spoke about traveling, we spoke about art, sculptures and all of that led us in to the meaning of freedom. How can you be free, with no stress, no pain, no lies. So with all of this runing trough my head I was closing to the borders.So finally I was there. When I was approaching to the US part, border officer was running towards me and asking what am I doing. Probably they didn't seen traveler before, so I just explained him what are my plans and he took me in the office. And from that point another dream started to falling apart. Because I am unemployed, I am not a resident of Canada, I have nowhere to go ( I was sorted with couchsurfing people in Boston and New York already ) with almost no money ( I have enough to survive for a three months ) I am inadmissible for US people. Officer, who was dealing with me was obviously a freshman, he didn't know what to do, so we had to rewrite all those questions again, again and again. After a long writing I had to do my own finger prints, because they didn't know how to do it. It was very amusing to watch, how those men, those officers couldn't do simpliest task without double checking with their superior, which he didn't like me I think, because he was giving me this evil look. So after 6 hours of endless waiting they finally finished paper work and now what to do with me? Lets send me back to Canada, so they don't have to deal with me. And of course how else we will finish this lovely day? How about handcuffs and drive 500m with a car to drop me off by the canadian side. I just couldn't stop laughing.But what really pissed me of, that they took all my informations and worst part was that they found a little piece of paper, where was written about true islam, which I spoke about that 2 years ago on a ferry from Calais to Dover with this arabian woman. And I think, that scared them off.

When they relieved me, I spoke with a Canadians officers, they just looked at me, gave me my stuff and said:'' just go, enjoy your stay, nobody takes them seriously'' So it was 7pm, I was in the middle of nowhere and all of sudden I was suppose to find some way how to survive this night. So I started thinking with all this behind me, what the hell I should do? So I was looking for a motel, B&B or something. Then I have been told by the passing guy, that there is a one motel on the end of the town. Nice and cheap. So I went there, of course I was hitching. And I manage to stope one car, there was this guy, sitting and telling me that all will be good. He dropped me off by the motel Imperial ( a proper shithole ) and they asked me 72$ for one room for one night. I just said to them, no way. When I was going out, same guy who dropped me of before came back for me and he offered me to stay in his place. His name is Stephane and he drove me back to his place. I have met his family, two young boys 5 and 2 with his smiley young wife Maria. I felt this family things around. They were happy. So right now I am in their guest room and I am sharing bad with a most gorgeous women in this house – Mia and small little cat. 

I feel loved again  ....

So I have decided to stay here for one more day, in this small tow called Stanstead, just by the US borders. I will help this family, give them some company. At least I won't feel alone. So tomorrow is going to be a interesting day, I can't wait for that.

31. January 2012

So another day behind me. And I must say it was unbelievably beautiful. After morning usual stuff ( try to talk to people around, breakfast, small ride around the town, coffee ) we came back to the house and everything was ready for lunch. Lasagne, hmmmmm hmmmm. All of us sat down byt the table and then something weird happened. We hold our hands and little Mikael said the prayer. It was interesting to watch how people all around the world are united by this thing, called religion. Even tough believes and religion are two different words, still one main question comes up, why people in big cities are forgetting meaning of life, forgetting that they are another people? That was the point, where I realised that just this little believe in something make a difference. So of course we started to talk about faith, God and all those stuff and I have seen that they are happy with all of that. Stephane had a hard life before meeting Marie. He was drug addict wasting his life, stealing and lot more bad decisions. He was arrested couple of time for drug trafficking, attempt of murder. But his life has turned around, he found him self gorgeous woman, Marie and he understood what is a real meaning of life even trough God and Jesus. Now he is a father of two beautiful kids, he has his racing car and he is happy. Now his life is in order with himself and the others. His car and family is the most precious things he has and he is so proud of it. We have talked about the cars, what is the difference back in Europe and in here, how are people back there. I told him just this, that no matter where are you coming from, it does matter who you are. Love for the cars is everywhere and he showed me a video about crazy Arab drivers who were making incredible stuff with their cars, so I told him, that no matter if you believe in Alah or God, you are human and that you are enjoying all those stuff what other people do, even they have different faith.

Couple of minutes later on he went to take a nap with Marie, so I was downstairs with little Mikael. As my french is still not that good, we managed to agreed on a movie, Cars 2, which was not that bad, but still I think too much adult stuff in there, shooting, explosions, but still it is a Disney. So we were watching and playing, I was pulling his legs, spin him up side down, right to left and he was laughing. It was nice to see and hear un-faked children laugh. The real joy. In a middle of a movie, Marie came down and she said that we are going dog sledging with her sister Emilie. I couldn' refuse this, I was so excited. So we dressed up properly, put kids in the car and without Stephan we went towards another adventure. With 20 minutes driving I talked with Marie about everything. She was curious about life I had lived, about differences back home and here and I was just happy to see this pureness and joy she has in her heart. 25 years old mother, who loves her kids and husband, because no matter what was Stephans past, she loves him because his heart. She helped him a lot and now they are both one happy family. She is very outgoing person, raised on a farm with another 5 siblings. She plays on violin and most of her free time she is outdoor with her horse Tango. She loves to be outside, she was brought up like that and I can't denied her passion for it. When you look at her, you will see just pure huge heart she is sharing with her family.

We have arrived to Emilie's, she was already prepared for everything, sledges were ready, dogs barking so loud, like they wanted us just go, run to the wild, to be free. So after quick introducing I sat down in a sledge and we were off to the nature. Dogs in front of me were running and barking and Emilie was shouting marching orders at them. It was snowing and all around me was white. We spoke about life, that she is doing dog sledging for seven years and she loves it. She is a busy woman, trying to live to the fullest, training on piano, cleaning even she had operation. She is living life. On the way trough forest we met her husband who was working there as lumberjack. Then we have swapped and I had this opportunity to ride this sledge. It was wonderful feeling, have 6 dogs pulling and manoeuvring it, just like on those expeditions to the poles. Felt free and I was happy that I could had this opportunity. I have been riding for couple of kilometers and then we have returned back to the Emilie's house. We unhooked the dogs, gave them treats for a great job and we were again on the road, towards Marie's horse Tango. He was staying at Marie's friend Jounvief ( I don't think I spell it right, please forgive me ;) ) and she has a farm with nine horses. So we have fed them and Marie showed me what she can do with Tango. It was nice to see people devoted for that what they believe and love. I need to lot to learn. After some time with horses we have moved back to Stanstead to pick up Stephane and we all went for a diner to Subway. I know, not very good place but still it was my treat for them for what they have done for me those couple of days. After that we went to Marie's parents for a cup of coffee. I had coffee actually cause after diner I was feeling too tired. So I was with almost all family in there. Three little kids running around, adults sitting and talking. As I though, we have started to talk about religion and faith again. Grandma was giving me a new testament so I will be not lost. We spoke about all of those things and I tried to explain them what is my opinion about all of this. We have talked about it for like a hour and we have ended up on this conclusion, that no matter what you are believe in, but how are you. If you are good person, living life full of joy and for the other, not selfish one. It was very beautiful to see how everything is connected. And then Marie sat down with violins and started to play. For a moment everyone became silent, everyone focused on this gorgeous tone coming out from violins. I saw proud parents looking at their daughter, I saw husband in love, I saw kids wondering what is going on and then I saw Marie. Devoted completely to the music, out of real world, happy, no problems, nothing bad on her mind. Wow, I can't find right words to describe that. Pure beauty. So after all of this we went back home, very tired and sleepy, but happy that we have lived another day. I am happy that I am alive, even I miss one person. But you never know ….. Tomorrow I will be traveling to Montreal and staying there for couple of days, so we will see how it will be back in a big city ….. 

Sinclair Family, Merci beaucoup

From the left - Stephan, Mario, Pierre - David, Marie-Christine, Line, Mikeal, Marie, Josue, Anna

So this is almost whole family of Chartier ;]]

1. February 2012

I had a good sleep. I was sleeping with Mia – 4 years pitbull bitch and it was very nice. After morning consuetudes me and Stephane went for a coffee. And it got me thinking about my last week and half. Memories came out and I felt sad. All of that I could have just vanished like morning mist into the new day. I miss her, very much. I miss her smile, her laugh, her stupid questions, everything. But what can I do, only go forward. Weather has changed, its not snowing anymore, its raining instead. I am happy that I could have manage to do dog sledging yesterday. Right now I am waiting for Sinclair family to give me a ride to Magog so I can have good hitch to Montreal. I am sorted with couchsurfer Maria Naimark, but she will be at her place at 6pm so I have plenty of time. Montreal is not that far from her, around hour and half driving. So now, breakfast, another coffee and off I go. Hopefully it will not rain all day.....

After Stephan dropped me off by highway towards Montreal and within 5 minutes I got picked up by Eric, guy who went to play poker, because he has nothing to do. He was driving around 100Km to sit down with other strangers and challenge his luck. It is interesting what people do for their amusement. I came from the countryside of no one, lots of farms and from people, who don't care about materialistic needs to the a big city where everything is different. Again, the city of people all around me, chaos, rush, but I must say I like it as well. I realised that I have to be with a people, otherwise my life would be empty. So yeah, Eric spoke little bit of english and we had to drive for more then one hour but still we managed to talk about lots of stuff. And what is the best topics talk about with a man? Women, cars, money. So of course we talked about all of that. And lets not forget about the main topic, ice hockey. Peter Stastny is very popular person in here and he is slovakian so hmm, gives me nice thinking that I am one as well. After a long ride he dropped me off around 20Km from Montreal. Then I got picked up by Roger, True Quebec heart, separatist, up for a united Quebec, separation from rest of the Canada. He had good points about history, presence. Every single country has a problems within and they have to deal with it. Of course politics, money, power are main factors of life everywhere you go. Why not make choices for changing our way of life, standards, greed ? Everyone got use to for a comfort. Everyone is happy for what they have, they just follow it blindly, like horses on horse track. After good conversation he droped me in down own of Montreal. I contacted my chouchsurfer, Marie. Russian girl who lived in Toronto for 12 years.  She is a great young smart kid, full of joy and hunger for knowledge. I met her at her school, McGill college, Leacock house, room no. 232. She made a presentation about Jewish nationalism: Myth and mobilisation. She spoke for 5 minutes, but she did good job. There was another students and professors talking about different subjects and that made me thinking that I need to go to school. I miss knowledge so when I will go back to england, I will apply for Oxford Brooks. I will find a way. After presentation we went together to the student bar and I met another great young people avid for knowledge. I feel bit behind with some expressions they used, but it felt good at same time. Gave me an energy to do something about my life. To change again. So we have been drinking beer and talked, laughed and after couple of hours and few pints of beer we have decided to leave, so we went to drop my luggage and went for a nice joint with in dorms. Yet again room full of students studying, smoking some spliffs, enjoying the evening. When I went for cigarette on balcony, I had this beautiful view of whole Montreal, just like the movie Fight club when on the end they blew up those buildings. I felt small. It was a nice evening. I was happy. Then I found out that Jolyane made her decision. It wasn't me she chose. So at least now I know what is the truth. I don't have wait anymore. I want her to be happy no matter what. Even if I have to go away from her life. I will survive, I am good person and now I can enjoy myself more. I am not committed to anything, just to myself. I feel free even it hurts. Time will heal all pain. Patience will bring you roses …. 

City of Montreal, QC 

3. february 2012

I had good sleep. After yesterday evening and day in Montreal, downtown, I was exhausted from walking and just doing nothing. I went to top of the Mont Royal, the hill just above Montreal, museum by McGill college and just walking down and up the streets watching people walking by, some blind, some boxed in but still alive. It was nice to see every mentality, gender, race working together like in here. I am impressed with a people, even tough they are living in a big city they are very nice and helpful. In the morning I did smoke a small joint, but I did spend day good. Wondering around the big city, see all those differences and enjoyed the gorgeous cold canadian weather. I don't know why but I didn't want to speak to anyone. I was just browsing city with my music on and talk to no one, that was my main idea. So after all this walking I finally got back to the Marie's apartment and had some diner. I cooked some pasta and guys said it was good so I presume I did good job. After diner we all sat down and rolled another small ''european cigarette'' and started to talk, watching some videos, I must say nice chilled out evening. On the end of the night I was so tired that I fell asleep straight away on a couch. Marie was great all the time, she was this small '' want – to – know – it – all'' girl, very enthusiastic and lively person and even she was very busy, she did find some time to talk. I am very happy that I met her and I must say I did forget some stuff at her place so maybe I will pick it up on the way back. Hmm, The whole idea of couchsurfing is wonderful. Offering a piece of your personal life to a complete stranger. Trusting to a person like that is very difficult nova days, but still there are plenty of people who are not scared of the unknown. I like that, I really do.

So after a good night sleep, Marie woke up and went to school, I did have some time to manage the video I made in Montreal. So then I went for another walk around town, but I chose different ways now. I went south from where I was staying and I have visited Old town and China town. China town was a really not big part of the downtown, but I did like how it was separated from it. Big golden – red gates were all around, pointing that this area is completely about something different. Little shops full of dragons and colours were on every corner of street, big chinese influence all around. I felt like I was in different country, but then I looked up and I saw all those massive buildings around. As I was continue walking I ended up by the old town. There was so much contrasts mixing with old and new architecture. You have this great old church ( Notre Dame ) and just next to it you have this tall black new building, casting shadow over this church. When I went inside, it was completely a different world. World of silence, candle lights and weird feelings I had when I entered in. First of all I was angry when they asked me to pay 5$ to take a look at a church, but it was worth it. The grand main hall was giving me the goose humps but the main beauty was altar. I can't describe it with words so I will put down photo so you can see it for your self. And now everything is about beliefs. Out here it is a world of wonderful mixtures. If you believe this, you are going to be something else in the eyes of the people, and if you believe that, you are still going to something else then you are now. Everything is about believe in something. I believe myself. I believe that good is going from our will. I believe … There are so many ways how we can make our life better, happier, but like my new friend from Stanstead, Marie, its not about to find a happiness, its about to find a joy. And this is slightly different story. We are all different people, full of joy for something, but we are forgetting for who we really are. No matter if its God, Allah, Krishna or just some keyring with a weird shape, we are her to pass all those messages hidden within. So yeah, we will see, how we will be.

After couple of coffees and one cake I was returning back to the flat, where everything became nicer. Within one hour, flat was full of people, preparing for party after that. Nice food, nice laugh by japanese old funny versions of ''Whipeout'', good evening. It was nice to feel relaxed, no prejudice, just let yourself go. After all of that I fell asleep on same couch …

5.February 2012

I woke up around 9am. Sun was shining interesting shadows on the floor at Marie's flat. I did some basic morning stuff and then I was on my way to Toronto. I wrote to Lesley ( my old dear friend I haven't seen for almost 5 years ) that I am going to meet her soon. I walked all the way towards ''20'' interstate. By 12pm I was picked up by driver ''I forgot his name now'' and he dropped me off on the main road leads to Toronto. So I have walked around 4Km on highway, three police cars passed by and nothing happened, so that was slightly interesting. I was hitching by exit to interstate, two guys Mat and Scotty picked me up in this typical american Dodge style van, gorgeous red by the way, and taking me to the Cornwall ( I felt like in whole world is in Canada ) with a nicer point of view. Guys are working as truck cleaners, if I got it right. Business is good and they have even better one, on a side. Did you know that here, in Canada, if you are going to the authorities, sort yourself out with some paper work and you can legally grow marijuana up to 190 plants, selling it to the health centres so they can be sold back to the ''patient'' which can smoke it, have it without any troubles with authorities. Wow, system in here is completely different. So yeah, ride with guys was good, great music, gorgeous weather full of sun. When I got out from their car, I was walking on the sun and -6 degrees and I realised how life is a lovely way to live. After one hour of walking, car finally stopped and there was this Peruvian guy. He was returning from his voyage to Montreal and back to Toronto. So we have driven together for almost four hours. We talked a lot about everything. It was very nice to see the guy from south America fallowing his dream. He was a shy person but he has this karma, that when I was leaving, it felt good. I was happy. After finding my way to my couchsurfing host, which wasn't picking up a phone, I stopped one more car. It was Toyota, four wheeler. And there was Dan, he gave me a ride to Sean, but as Sean wasn't avaliable, Dan invited me to his friends for a diner. I have forgot all their names, but it was very nice, sophisticated diner, full of new knowledge about Judaism. I must say, after Marie's presentation, staying within those believes again, I felt like this is a faith mission. Its not about God. Not about Allah. Its about finding faith in myself. So yet again, there I was having beautiful diner with 30 years old people, yet again different religion. Its nice to see how world is going to rise. So after 6. call I have finally reached Sean, I called Lesley and then I was brought by Dan again. And what he told me in a car, just make me even happier. He told me that his wife is pregnant, third week and no one knows, but me. He wanted to tell to everyone but he was waiting for right moment. He is going to be a father. I saw a huge release, when told me that. I am very happy for him and wishing all the best. Finally I got to the house of my host. He was still not at home, but he told me that door were open, couch is on my left, big green one. So I have arrived, put down my bags and started to write again. When I was almost asleep, house mates arrived and tomorrow my plan is ….. Niagara Falls.

Chapel Notre Dame, Montreal, QC

Cathedral Notre Dame, Montreal, QC

Me and Peruvian Anybey (sorry can't spell that)

Dan (first from the right) with his friends and great diner.

Sorry for not adding anything but I really don't have time for it now so and least I will put some videos here for now. Later on, hopefully on Tuesday I will write everything what I have been trough.

In Toronto, back from hitching to Quebec, QC

Driving trough Ontario. Gorgeous country ....

16. February 2012

I am in Vancouver. At last after a long, long days of mindless driving I have finally arrived to the finish line of my journey. So after all of those moments in there on the road I had a long time to think about all things what happened, happening and will happen. It was interesting couple of days. Let me just go back to the beginning of my journey from Toronto. I met great people in there. I was staying with great guys, Charles (french guy living in toronto for a year and that was the reason we went to Niagara falls, cause he needed to sort him self out with extension of his visas), Lukasz (polish guy, lived in Canada for around 20 years and he is really enjoying it with his girlfriend Fresh ) and Sean (Canadian fella, open minded, good looking and free in his mind which really gave me good feeling about him). 

Niagara Falls was a huge disappointment for me, not because of its power and size, but because the whole city is build around it, city full of money, tourism. They are magnificent tough, shame that all of that materialism is seen all around. Gorgeous green water is running down from those cliffs. Hmm, sometimes is really sad, that all those places full of beauty of nature has been teared up apart by human greed. But we will get back to it later on. On the way back I have found out, that I have this ''small'' job to do. Driving a van from Quebec city to Vancouver, which is around 5000km, from east to west. It made me want to do it just because who can have this option to do something like that? Imagine, that you will drive van across the Canada. Imagine all those places, those people, those lives you can drive trough. So of course I did accept it. Same evening me and Charles went to Kensington Market for a french meeting in small pub called Temptation. I have met a lots of people there, but all of them were french so it was kind of fun to speak ''French'' again. Of course, I felt like to get drunk, which I did, slovakian (presov) way – vodka with beer. After couple of drinks and great mood we went back home where we just fell down straight to sleep. Of course morning waking was very hard. My head was going to explode and my stomach was not good as well. But still, I had mission in front of me. 

I was in Toronto and I needed to get back to Quebec city to pick up the van. So I was on my way again. Almost 1000km in front of me, day an half to make it. And I did managed it. First I got stuck just outside Toronto for more then one hour but then I got picked up by Adam, a young man full of energy to live the life. We spoke for a most of the drive about the freedom. What else we could talked about? He had free spirit inside of him as well, but he has family now but he is happy. That is the main thing. He dropped me of just couple of Km after Toronto. Then I got lucky for another drivers, young ones, old ones and on the end of the day, I was standing 100Km from Montreal, two ladies picked me up, which was nice for a change. I forgot their names, but one of them was pregnant I remember that. We had funny talks and then we found out beauty of Disney's songs and one of them had a full album of those songs, so we were singing Lion King, Lady and Tramp, Aladin and many more. It was very nice ride. We had to drop of a cake for the birthday boy somewhere down-town Montreal, which was very good for me because I was near to Marie, the couchsurfer I have stayed with week before that. So I stayed one more night in Montreal, it was nice chilled out, we were watching a movie, very interesting one, dark. After nice evening back with youngsters I had to wake up early in the morning so I could make it to Quebec. Unfortunately I was walking for a long time, around 15Km from montreal so can be on a right spot to Quebec. I got picked up by different men and I was late for my meeting, but still very much manageable. I made it. I did get to Quebec almost on time. And there it was. Van. Van I was suppose to drive across Canada. And there were Daniel and Clare waiting for me as well. It was very interesting meeting. We didn't know what to expect from each other, but still I found out they were very nice people. Daniel is disabled, on the wheel chair and Clare, his girlfriend is taking care of him. They had to drive that van in BC, so they needed someone to take it trough the whole country. I was the one. We spoke, exchange the details, infos, all the stuff we needed to sort out and one hour later I was on my way.

 On my way to Vancouver. 5000Km in front of me. Road trip across Canada. Car was bit old. It was 1990 Ford Econoline E150 . It has been modified for Daniel and his wheel chair. It had lift, lots of space. As he called it '' James Bond's car''. So there I was. Driving, getting to know the car, roads, country. It felt weird. It felt like I am free to do what ever I wanted and doubled by driving where ever I want. So main thing came to my head – Victoriaville. To say hello to little Shelly. So I bought her a teddy bear and when I came there, I knocked on the door, she came open the blinds and she game this gorgeous little smile. She recognised me. Then of course Katheryne and Luc invited me in. They were surprised as well. So I stayed there for a diner cup of coffee and then I said goodbye to them. Most important thing was that little teddy bear found a right home with a great family. I was on the road again. I got lost a little bit but then I found the right way and I was heading back to Toronto. Ride was mindless, so I just put up a music and drive. Drive to the unknown. It was interesting, being alone, with all thoughts of the past, present and future. Time was going slow, night was upon me and lights of the car were cutting the darkness like knives in to the butter. Music was different, rock, pop, classic. It was giving me energy to go further and further. I got sleepy after couple of hours so I pulled over on a parking lot and went to sleep. Back seat of the van was movable so I made myself comfortable and just went to the dream land. I woke up early and I was continue driving to Toronto. I reached it at noon. So I took a shower, made some food and then I went to meet Lesley. Lesley McCaroll, canadian girl I met around five years ago in Oxford, England. We have spend some time together back in the days. I was newcomer to UK and she was there some time already, so when I started to work at shop I was staying with some guys and they know her. We had great time. So now, after all those years and lots of messages we send each other via internet, we have met in person. She had a jaw surgery so she couldn't express her self properly. But still we had great time, great talk and good laugh, even tough it was painful for her a little bit. She is great person and I am happy to her friend. What can I say, life is full of people around you, who are are to help you no matter what, so I am very happy that I those kind of people around me. So we spoke for some time, had laugh and then I went back to Sean's house. There was some people watching a movie, so I joined them, we had some red wine, we talked, laughed. It felt good to be with good people. Meanwhile I sort myself with a sharerider, but next day, I was waiting for him till noon and when I suppose to meet him, he bailed on me. He said that he can't make it, that he is not going. So I was bit angry, that I lost 6 hours waiting for nothing. But Lesley made me smile again. She made me carrot muffins. A lot of them and they were unbelievably tasty, even tough there were vegan. Nice and soft, full of taste. Hmm, thank you very much for that my dear. After resupply myself, I was back driving. 

Music loud, singing along with it, enjoying the ride full of gorgeous nature around me. That ride was long, and yet again it got me thinking. I realised that I wasn't in love with jolyane for who she is, or for what could be, but just with that feeling to be loved. I think I missed that, even tough it was obvious that long distance relationship doesn't work like it should be. But still I had this thing for her, that maybe it all work out. But now I am free, let's face it, I am too good for her. And she is happy now so I think everyone is a winner in this game. Still wondering tough, why all that hustle. But I think, that this way it was meant to be. It is nice when everything is working out for the right cause. I just wish her to be herself and not to mess it up with Etienne. He is great guy and I am happy for both of them. You know, lots of people said to me how can I manage it like that. And I just say that it wasn't real love. Because if it was, this wouldn't happen. So anyhow back to the trip.

Time is passing really slow, if you are driving 80Km/h. That car was eating too much of the gas. Sometimes I felt like I will not going to make it to the next gas station. But I always did. So I was driving trough Ontario, country full of lakes, hills and big trucks. That is why I hate them. They are huge and drivers are reckless. That is why in the middle of the night one of the driver didn't give priority to me and I had to push brakes to the bottom. Something happened to the car, power assist unit and dynamo broke down so from that point it was bit harder to drive, but still manageable. With that speed it was safe anyway. Yet again another night came upon the country. Darkness everywhere, just sets of lights from time to time were cutting it trough. My eyes were closing down and tiredness was stronger and stronger, so I pulled off to get some sleep. It was really cold outside, -27 degrees and even I warmed up the van, when I woke up I was freezing to the bones. All my food and liquids were turned to ice, breathing was harder but after couple of miles of driving everything was back to normal. I was around 200Km from Winnipeg, MB, and sun was so high and warm, but I really needed to pee, so I pulled over on side of the road and went out from the car. Unfortunately I manage to press the lock button so I got locked out from my car, while it was running. So I ended up outside, with no warm clothes, standing next to the running car with no way to get in, in the middle of nowhere. At least I was empty. So I tried to stop some car to help me out and one lady stopped by. It was sunday morning and she went to sunday mass, but she helped me out. We went to near place to find someone to help me out, but after a long searching, asking we weren't so lucky, only we managed to get a wire hanger so we returned to the car. While driving back I told her that it would be funny, if police will stop and ask what we are doing. We arrived back to the car and I didn't manage to open it. So we stopped another car. There was a guy going to the church with his daughter and he knew what is was doing. So meanwhile one car behind mine, one in front, a guy trying to get to the locked car and who was missing? Of course police showed up. So I was surrounded with people who were trying to help. On the end we managed to open it so I said thanks to everyone and I was back on the road. It was funny situation, it made me laugh, even I was freezing from waiting. Then my battery run out. Of course I thought that I will start again, luckily I stopped on gas station and there was some good people to help me out again. Even one gentleman gave me whole car battery, for free. So still there is a good in this world and I must say in small villages or towns are people more helpful like those living in big cities. In small towns people are caring for each other. It is completely different world out there full of different values. I like it. So all sorted I was driving to Winnipeg.

 I was suppose to meet Myrian, Stephan's friend. She is air combat system officer, flying for Canadian Air Force. Great lovely woman. I arrived without any gas to her place about 3pm. I ran out of the money, I had only for one more full tank, even tough I had only british pounds. So no way to change it in sunday afternoon. So I was desperate but Myrian found one place and we went there to change the money. Then I was deciding to stay for one night or to go driving again. I have decided to stay. I really needed a proper sleep in a proper bed. And shower. After a small shopping we went back to her place, I putted myself together and then I cooked nice diner for both of us. We sat down, talked, drank nice Merlot and then I went up to the room, trying to put some words down, but I fell asleep like a log. Within couple of minutes I was browsing the dream land again. Bed was so nice and comfortable, the whole house was big and clean. Myrian was studying microbiology, so she saw bacteria everywhere and she is keeping her house nice and clean. We had a good time and we talked a lot about everything, everyone. Like I always say, everyone has their own story and I was nice to hear Myrian's as well. I think, no matter where you are from, you have those same problems, joys, life. And I must say she made me a lots of chocolate chip muffins, and they were amazing. So now I cant say which one were better, those from Lesley and those from Myrian, they were all gorgeous. So after morning coffee and great sleep I was ready to ride again. Meanwhile Carol send me some money trough Western Union so I was all sorted and I was just hoping, that I can make it to Vancouver on time.

Driving trough Saskatchewan was easy. No hills, just flat ground where ever eyes could see. So nice and slow with music out loud and great mood I was driving on sunny day. I stopped for some coffees, to have some meal as well and yet again, night came. I was in Alberta, province after Saskatchewan and there everything went bad. I was getting really tired, my eyes were closing again and all of the sudden a wolf or coyote or dog came across my way. I stepped on brake and I manage to save all of us. But as I put down the gas to speed up again I caught a skid on icy highway and I did 720 degrees spin on highway. It was so quick and I thought that I will be messed up. But I must admit, I am good driver, so I ended up spinning on the side of the highway, full of adrenaline pumping trough my veins, I got out from the car screaming out top of my lungs. Woooooh, that was something I have never done in my life before and the I realised, that I was lucky, that there was no cars near by. After situation like that, you are appreciate life more and more, and you are so happy and thankful that you are alive. So this made me think, how life is so tender, fragile and I need to tempt it. I like to live on the edge. That is why I am travelling without money.

So after I shook off the stress and excitement I went back on the road, but I drove very slowly and I made it almost to Calgary. I was running out of money very fast and I couldn't manage to save on gas, because roads has changed and everything was different. And of course, let's not forget about battery. After waking up on tuesday morning in Calgary, in front of the McDonald's ( btw, they have wifi for free so its always a good spot to find anything online or just let everyone know that you are alive) with -17 outside but full of sun, I checked that I can't make to Vancouver with 120$ so I fuelled up and tried to find some pawn shop, to sell my camera. So I was driving trough BC, and those mountains are magnificent. Rocky mountains are just massive wall separating Pacific from North America. It's just unbelievably huge chain of pinnacles sticking out from the ground high in the sky. In winter time you just see the white peaks all around you, roads curving up and down and you can see the real wilderness. Little piece of paradise. So when I was driving trough mountains, I ran out of money, I had little bit of gas so I made it to Revelstoke, BC. Small town in the middle of mountains in beautiful valley. There I found second hand shop and I sold my SLR Pentax camera for 40$ so I could have some gas. Then I topped it up the tank and drove for couple more hours in the pitch dark. Then I just gave up. I couldn't drive and my battery went off again. So I had to sleep next to the road. Night wasn't so cold but still I was freezing. I already missed my arrival to Vancouver but worst part was, I didn't have any money and I was almost there. Of course, when you are driving in mountains, you can't save fuel. So I ended up in small town called Hope. I hoped that there is a hope in Hope. I parked next to the McDonald's again and from that point everything went wrong. I didn't have any money, I had empty tank, I was 150Km from Vancouver and yet again battery went flat. So I had to think quickly. I went to a church, to ask for some help. I spoke with a preacher Edy and he helped me out. He called his son, he brought the car, we jump-started my van, he gave me 15$ for a gas and I was on my way, even tough I spend two hours of searching for help. Everyone asked for some money. Nothing is for free. So when Edy helped me out it was very nice gesture. So I made it in the next small town called Chilliwack. I was almost out of gas again and my battery went bad so I had to run around to get some help. No one wanted to help. Even indians, who has those values of nature and helping, they asked me for 5$ for jump-starting my car. I just said no told them how they can do it like this. So on last search I went to Salavation Army ( before I tried CERC office and ministry of social stuff as well, for little help but they didn't wanted to ) and they gave me another 15$ so I did made it into Vancouver on the end. Even tough I got lost a little bit but still with a fury and anger I managed to arrive on promised place. Two hours late but alive. And then something happened and I felt not very welcome with the owners of the car. Even tough they promised me that I can stay with them for couple of nights, I felt like they don't want to so I just gave them the car, explained what went wrong and I was on my way. But still, I thank them for that opportunity and I was very happy to see them satisfied that they have their car back, even tough it has been a long ride. I did my part and I was proud of myself. I mean, driving all the way from coast to coast trough Canada? Man, that is something I will remember for life. No money can pay that feeling. And I did it on my own. So after saying good bye I went to McDonald's, where else, and I was trying to get some food and some sleep. Unfortunately after couple of hours of quick naps they moved to to different section, because they wanted to clean that part I was in. So I moved next to a homeless guy, Jason, 38 years old, strongly believer for Jesus Christ, his saviour. He was bit weird, but that is the path he chose. Path of outsider from society, reject from reality. We spend couple of hours of talking, and I saw that he has a great heart but he was just lost. With his company I spend night at McDonald's and in the morning we were thrown out from the restaurant, because apparently we spend whole night there, we stank, we were different. At that got me thinking as well, why people are boxing others? Why they are judging book by it's cover? Jason tried to speak with some people, but they just gave him this repulsive look. Hmm, I felt with him, but still he was happy. He still manage to stay smiley, He was always saying something from the bible. It was interesting to follow him after we went away. He is in a search of his ''wife''.He brought me to West Vancouver Library and here I had time to write all of this. With a great help of best librarian I know, Margaret, I manage to make this blog full of words. She was so helpful, smiling all the time and she understood traveller's way of life. So that happened today, 16. of january 2012, and I am just wondering, how many people are lost? How many people are looking for something ? I must say that I am one of them as well. I do look for something, but what it is? No one knows, but I heard, when you'll find it, you will know ….

Myrian from Winnipeg, MB

Clare, her car i was pulling

Daniel, he needed that van in Van ;]]

That is the van on the way to Van ;]] 

Me driving 

Lesley McCaroll, gorgeous woman, thank you for everything ;]] 

Sean, my couchsurfing host in Toronto

Marie, gorgeous little smart woman from Montreal.

Margaret, the best librarian in Vancouver ;]]

Guys, thank you very much for everything, thank you for being here from me, when I needed it. I coudl't do it without you. Many many thanks. There is a goodness in this world and this is how it looks like ;]]